Overgiving Feeds Insecure Attachment
Overgiving is one of the most socially acceptable trauma responses out there.
It looks generous. Kind. Thoughtful.
But often, it’s not about love at all.
It’s about fear.
Fear that if you don’t constantly pour into the relationship, it will fall apart.
Fear that if you stop wiping up their emotional messes, they won’t clean them up.
Fear that if you stop doing all the work, you’ll have to see the truth of what the relationship really is.
And that is the scariest part.
Because what if they’re not capable of meeting you halfway?
What if they don’t care as much as you do?
What if they’re simply not interested in doing their part?
So instead of facing that pain, you hustle harder.
You overfunction. You overgive. You hold it all together with duct tape and denial.
But all that does is keep you stuck in something sub-par.
You don’t get what you need. You just postpone the heartbreak.
And the heartbreak doesn’t go away. It just gets more familiar.
The truth is, the only way you ever get clarity is when you stop doing their side of the work.
That’s where real change begins.
Sometimes they rise.
Sometimes they don’t.
Either way, you stop betraying yourself just to avoid a truth that’s already quietly bleeding through the cracks.
If this hits home for you, I want to invite you to do something different.
My Emotional Regulation Mini Course is launching soon.
It’s short, affordable, and actually works.
It’s designed to help you stay grounded enough to stop overgiving, sit with the discomfort, and choose connection from a place of power rather than panic.
If you want to be the first to hear when it’s ready, register on the button below.
You don’t have to keep saving what was never meant to be yours to carry.
You can choose peace.
And it starts with you.