You don’t have to be a “bitch.” But let’s be honest, being a people-pleaser hasn’t exactly paid off, has it?
Somewhere along the line, you learned that keeping others happy was the key to staying safe. That saying “yes” and staying quiet would help you avoid conflict, soothe unpredictable people, or win love from those who were hot and cold with you.
You became what others needed… at your own expense.
Here’s the thing: constantly accommodating others doesn’t build the kind of love, respect, or connection you’re truly craving. It builds resentment. Burnout. Disconnection from others and from yourself.
The truth? A bit of self-interest is deeply attractive. Not because it’s mean but because it signals confidence, boundaries, and self-worth. It’s the emotionally healthy beacon to other emotionally healthy people that says you’re a match.
If you’ve spent your life trying not to rock the boat, it might feel scary, or even selfish, to pull back. To say no. To honour your own needs.
But it’s not selfish. It’s healthy. And it’s how we begin to attract people who meet us halfway, instead of expecting us to bend in half.
You don’t need to become harsh or cold. You don’t need to stop caring. But you do need to stop abandoning yourself for others.
If you’re burnt out, constantly second-guessing yourself, or feeling unfulfilled in your relationships, there is another way. And it begins by making space for you at the centre of your life.
Ready to shift the pattern? Get in touch, I’d love to support you in stepping into a version of you that doesn’t shrink, apologise, or over-function to be loved.