In a world where personal and professional connections are vital to our well-being, finding the right people to surround ourselves with can be a challenging task. But what if there was an exercise that could help you gain clarity on what you truly desire in your future partner, friend, colleague, job, or client? This exercise, known as the “5-Star Person Exercise,” is not only beneficial for everyone but especially invaluable for complex trauma survivors on their healing journey.

Why Complex Trauma Survivors Benefit

For those who have experienced complex trauma, forming healthy relationships can be a daunting prospect. Complex trauma can cloud our judgment and make it difficult to discern what we truly need in our personal and professional lives. That’s where the 5-Star Person Exercise comes in handy. It’s a tool that helps survivors of complex trauma get clear about their non-negotiables and preferences, guiding them towards healthier, more fulfilling, and aligned relationships.

The 5-Star Person Exercise: A Game-Changer

The 5-Star Person Exercise, also known as the 5-Star Client Exercise for business owners, serves as a versatile tool to help you define your expectations from any kind of relationship. Whether you’re envisioning the perfect friend, partner, or job opportunity, this exercise can provide you with the clarity you need.

A Deep Dive into Personality Qualities

This transformative exercise invites you to list the personality qualities you desire in your ideal person or situation. Rather than focusing on superficial aspects, you’ll explore the traits and characteristics that truly matter to you in a relationship.

The Pivotal Reflection

The real magic of the 5-Star Person Exercise lies in its ability to guide you through a reflection that reveals how close you are to being the right match for the person you desire. This isn’t about self-criticism; it’s about gaining self-awareness and understanding what you can do to become the right match for those you wish to be in a relationship with.

Becoming a Match

As you reflect on your desired qualities and the traits you’ve listed, you’ll begin to see how they align with your own personality and behavior. This self-awareness is a key step toward personal growth and transformation. It’s not about changing who you are but evolving into the best version of yourself to attract the kind of relationships you desire.


The 5-Star Person Exercise is a powerful tool for anyone looking to attract their ideal partner, friend, colleague, job, or client into their life. It’s a way to articulate your desires, gain clarity on your non-negotiables, and set the stage for healthier, more fulfilling, and aligned relationships. Whether you’re healing from complex trauma or simply seeking to create a more intentional and satisfying life, this exercise can be your roadmap to manifesting the relationships you truly deserve. So grab your pen and paper, and start defining your 5-star person today!

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